Sundays at this farmish place are reserved for Scribbles - short, random musings that collect while my mind has time to wander on this day of (supposed) rest. Enjoy, and feel free to add your own in the comments.
1. If there is one animal you don't want to get loose on the farm, it's a pig.
2. So when you're heading out the door to a committee meeting for Cub Scouts, and you see your two giant pigs suddenly run past you... in the front yard...it is completely appropriate to use profanity.
3. Next, you yell "Pigs are out!" to anyone in the house who might be listening. The only people who are home are Dog Lovin' Mama and Farmboy Iggy. You jump (I don't remember how many) fences and gates in an effort to find something that might coerce the pigs back to the pen/yard they're supposed to be in.
3 and a half: You aren't wearing barn clothes. You're in town clothes. Jumping fences. And walking through pig poo.While every other animal on your farm wonders what the hell you're doing.
4. Here's the thing with pigs, though. It doesn't matter what you're holding. Carrots. Apples. Slop. Feed. A freaking Dairy Queen Blizzard. Those pigs are not coming to you. For being an animal that could possibly eat you out of house and home, they sure can run fast when you want to feed them. Oh, the irony.
5. What ends up happening is you toss the food and reach for lead ropes or bungee cords or oh-my-god-anything to help you harness and/or corral these animals that weigh twice what you do.
5 and a half: You think of your husband who has told you several times that if a pig gets out, you just shoot it. Because you can't catch a grown pig. But you've always been one for a challenge. So you will get these pigs back in their pen.
6. And you do. With the help of some stretchy straps from an old exercise machine. And a serious amount of muscle. And Dog Lovin' Mama. And Farmboy Iggy. And about a half hour of cursing.
6 and a half: Seriously. People don't need gym memberships. They need farms. And that's all Ima gonna say 'bout that. :)