Sundays at this farmish place are reserved for Scribbles -
short, random musings that collect while my mind has time to wander on
this day of (supposed) rest. Enjoy, and feel free to add your own in the
comments.
1. If there is one animal you don't want to get loose on the farm, it's a pig.
2. So when you're heading out the door to a committee meeting for Cub Scouts, and you see your two giant pigs suddenly run past you... in the front yard...it is completely appropriate to use profanity.
3. Next, you yell "Pigs are out!" to anyone in the house who might be listening. The only people who are home are Dog Lovin' Mama and Farmboy Iggy. You jump (I don't remember how many) fences and gates in an effort to find something that might coerce the pigs back to the pen/yard they're supposed to be in.
3 and a half: You aren't wearing barn clothes. You're in town clothes. Jumping fences. And walking through pig poo.While every other animal on your farm wonders what the hell you're doing.
4. Here's the thing with pigs, though. It doesn't matter what you're holding. Carrots. Apples. Slop. Feed. A freaking Dairy Queen Blizzard. Those pigs are not coming to you. For being an animal that could possibly eat you out of house and home, they sure can run fast when you want to feed them. Oh, the irony.
5. What ends up happening is you toss the food and reach for lead ropes or bungee cords or oh-my-god-anything to help you harness and/or corral these animals that weigh twice what you do.
5 and a half: You think of your husband who has told you several times that if a pig gets out, you just shoot it. Because you can't catch a grown pig. But you've always been one for a challenge. So you will get these pigs back in their pen.
6. And you do. With the help of some stretchy straps from an old exercise machine. And a serious amount of muscle. And Dog Lovin' Mama. And Farmboy Iggy. And about a half hour of cursing.
6 and a half: Seriously. People don't need gym memberships. They need farms. And that's all Ima gonna say 'bout that. :)
All I can see, m'dear, is that there are a few (if not many) people reading this post this morning who can relate to what you went through. Maybe even a couple who resorted to your husband's suggestion! (How'd your go-to-meetin' shoes fare?)
ReplyDeleteOoh the joys! My neighbor's pigs got out once. We had the whole neighborhood chasing those things down. Finally, my hubby got on the 4-wheeler and had the neighbor get on the back rack and they chased them down, through a field, and tackled them, lol! They were only about 40 pounders at that time. My hubby did get bit tackling one of them though, so I'm glad you didn't.
ReplyDeleteFun times :o)
Funny as heck, albeit at your expense. But that's what makes it so much more enjoyable to read; YOU'RE the one running around in town clothes getting pig poo on you while I sit her sipping my hot tea :)
ReplyDeleteOh.My.Word!! Glad you were able to get them back where they belong! I was reading a post on another blog this morning, their pigs got out and are now "free ranging" pigs! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteBacon on the run! Now that's what I call fast-food. Poor you! I'd be cussing up a storm.
ReplyDeleteMust be the weather??? One of our bulls got out and as usual, husband was at work......
ReplyDelete:D
ReplyDeleteSo funny...but only because it wasn't happening to me! I have to chase rabbits on a regular basis and that's hard enough! Pigs?! I never would have made it!
LOL! What a great visual you have painted with this one :)
ReplyDeleteMy kids favorite part of Charlotte's web is when Wilbur gets out of the pig pen and Mrs. Zuckerman yells "HO-MER, pigs out." Then the duck runs around yelling and quacking. You should have had a video camera. Sounds like a pretty good rendition of that scene.
ReplyDeleteOne piece of info you didn't mention, if you touch the pig or the pig touches you it takes a lot of strong soap to make the smell go away. Friend once told me if I ever got pigs I would like them better than goats, well over all these years the only way I "like" pigs is cut wrap and frozen or cooked. Yesterday I had to climb in the pen and put their 100 gallon water tub back where it belonged, and these 2 are still fairly small.
ReplyDelete